Let me introduce myself.
(Who are you expecting?)
As I had paused here, waiting for just the right inspiration, my two small dogs suddenly bounced into alertness and with a little notation of their own leapt to an eagerly expectant position, noses pointed quivering toward the front door. So I asked them that question, ‘Whom are you expecting?’ and my dictation software prophetically transcribed it for me.
(Whoever it is you expect me to be, I’m probably someone quite different. I daresay it’s the same with you.)
Please understand that as dogs my two are pretty much worthless. They simply don’t act like dogs that you or I have ever met, and are completely unteachable. They do only what they want, and they learn only what they want. They particularly wanted to learn how to sleep in the bed under the covers all day, and how to squeak-bark at the big dogs next door behind the fence. They have shown but a changeable interest in housebreaking and no interest at all in coming when called.
(Showing well would make up for a lot.)
If they looked like dogs my two little peeves’ uselessness in acting like dogs might be more understandable, but no. Looking at my dogs you see very small representations of the species decked out in clothing, yes clothing, with bursts of fluff on the ends of feet and tails, and wacky wild hairdos. Peel back the clothing and they are completely naked, not a hair, smooth like a baby’s tush. A total embarrassment of a dog.
Naturally, I think they are adorable. And since I generally have to spend my own days under the bed covers, that’s actually a good place for them. So they bark a little at the big dogs next door, Elle soon scares herself and darts right back to bed, and fortunately Kitty’s ignorance of that concept “Big” vs. “Little” has yet to bring her to real harm. And I think of dog dress-up as nothing but a new kind of harmless self-expression. An art.
Once my sister said she wanted to get a dog. I said ‘Get a Chinese Crested’ and my brother answered ‘No, get a dog.’
But they suit me just fine. That’s the point. They are who I am.
Now if I had said to you, “I have 2 dogs,” would that have helped answer what to expect of me? Probably not, because I have the unexpected and it works for me, a couple of odd beasts who may not shine as dogs but can write a fine essay opener when called upon.
So let me introduce myself. (Who should you expect?)
I hope that, like myself, you look not for the normal, but for the authentic, which at times may bring to you the somewhat strange. But that’s the very spiciest of life, isn’t it? Stick with me and you could expect your world might be less bland, depending on how spicy you are yourself.
Here’s to life staying ever interesting –